The Tales of the Iceweasel

Iceweasel: The Early Years

The Iceweasel started life at an early age in a far away land. Nobody knows where that land is, but we can guess. It might have been Antarctica, Sweden, or even Kermit, Texas. He travelled for years, living on nothing but ice and frozen water. He caught miniscule fish for sustenance as well, but only for conversation. One day he happened upon a shiny thing. It was round, and flat. With a circle in the middle. When flipped over, it had the image of 2 silver bars laid on top of a black field. And some characters foreign to him. He could only translate the word "PANTHER" before things became problematic. You see, the Iceweasel was in fact from the end of the ice age, the era before our own, When the Iceweasel pulled the "PANTHER" disc from the ice, he started a crack the size of.. well.. this was one big crack.

The Iceweasel started to run for his life. However, as he was running over a vast expanse of ice, he continually lost his footing. The crack was drawing closer and closer to him. Finally, the Iceweasel found dry land. Well, land that was not ice. "The crack could not follow me here," OR SO HE THOUGHT. The crack thought to itself, "I want that Iceweasel! I'm Hungry!" It continued to follow the Iceweasel, almost catching him numerous times.

After many days and many close encounters, the crack stopped. It could no longer continue to expand the land around it. It has lost its energy and did not have a protein bar around to help it along. The iceweasel now lives in northern California, leaving behind the result of the chase that is now known as "The Grand Canyon." What of the shiny, disc thing? That's as far away from the Iceweasel as possible. Unfortunately, there are more discs out there, and whenever the Iceweasel sees them, the ground starts to shake. The locals call these events "Earthquakes," but the Iceweasel knows they are really the crack coming after him again. That is why "10.3 makes the Iceweasel cower in fear."

Iceweasel and the Tiger

Will be writing when the Iceweasel encounters a Tiger

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